Does It 'Take a Village' to Get Divorced?

We have all heard the phrase, “it takes a village” when people discuss raising children.   We all readily accept that moms and dads take on different roles in parenting, and turn to others for help when needed.  It is not uncommon that one parent is responsible for school work and another parent is responsible for extracurricular activities.  It is also pretty common that parents use the help of others (grandparents, nannies, child care, friends) to help them with their children’s needs simply due to everybody’s busy lives.

 

That same type of “division of labor” occurs in nearly every household.  The spouse who is good with numbers pays the bills and takes care of the taxes.  The spouse who is handy, takes care of household repairs.  When other help is needed the spouses do not think twice about hiring the right person for the job – of course, based on the skill level that person brings to the project.

 

Yet, when it comes time to divorce, many people forget about “their village”.  Too many times, a spouse turns to his divorce lawyer and wants the lawyer to “handle everything” even if that will not provide the spouse with the help he needs in order to resolve all of his legal issues while moving forward with his “new” life.

 

Collaborative Divorce and Collaborative Mediation help spouses use “their village” to create a peaceful and respectful resolution of their family issues.  For example, clients are encouraged to use the services of a financial neutral to assist in the gathering of financial information, and helping the “non-numbers” spouse understand the family’s financial picture.  This is tremendously helpful for the parties in reaching their agreements that are in the best interest of the entire family.

 

Another “village member” can be a child specialist.  The child specialist helps separating parents get information regarding their children, both based on information from the children, and the children’s developmental stages, and can work with the parents to help understand what the children – and – parents need in creating post-separation lives.

 

Other jointly-hired “specialists” or “village members” can be used to address the unique needs of every family.  Arizona Collaborative Colleagues does not mandate a “one size fits all village”.  After all, the “village” we all started with was based on our own family’s needs, talents, and desires.  Why should we sell ourselves, and our families, short in making some of the most important decisions of our lives without utilizing professionals with the skill to help us?  After all, “it takes a village”.