Why Did We Laugh at "Conscious Uncoupling"?

Gwyneth Paltrow announced last week that she was ending her marriage with her husband by “conscious uncoupling.” The reaction from the media – both social and mainstream – and people on the street was to let out a big laugh. How Hollywood! How New Age-y! How weird! Within hours, the late night talk show hosts had the phrase “conscious uncoupling” in their nightly monologues. The phrase “conscious uncoupling” went mainstream nearly instantly.

But the mainstream use of the term was primarily to be funny. Then, I learned more.

The phrase was coined by Katherine Woodward Thomas, a psychotherapist. Ms. Thomas describes “conscious uncoupling” as “a kinder term for divorce. It is essentially a no-drama approach to separation, one that protects the children and encourages both sides to avoid pointing fingers.”

Isn’t that exactly what couples have been trying to do for years? Using different tools for divorce so that the focus is on children and encouraging both spouses to be the best they can be after the end of the relationship? Many processes can be used for “conscious uncoupling,” such as collaborative divorce, mediation, and negotiated settlements.

So, maybe it is a good thing that “conscious uncoupling” went mainstream so quickly. After all, wouldn’t everyone going through one of the most difficult events in their lives benefit from less drama and a kinder approach to divorce?

More about Mary Ann Hess's collaborative divorce practice